So I sit here and look forward and back at the same time and take stock of where life is for me these days. Life has been a roller coaster for me for a long time now but whatever the bad, it’s always balanced – and often trumped – by the not-just-good but sometimes the spectacular.
I have a major birthday coming up soon, a milestone that many of my high school friends and I are hitting at the same time. So I have a lot of company in assessing where you are when you can no longer pretend that you haven’t even reached the halfway point of your journey yet. If I was a football game, I’d be in the third quarter (but hoping that there would be overtime played).
I don’t know that I can or want to try to do justice to all the things I’m thinking about these days in one blog so I suspect I’ll be writing a few of these. As some of you know, I was very blessed to have a great job writing for a financial website for a long while, an empowering experience for me and (I think or at least I hope) a good use of my skills in trying to help others. But the site shut down temporarily, as many start-ups do, and my writing muscle, the one that keeps my brain sharp and my mind engaged, has fallen into disuse and atrophied a bit.
So I want to stretch again, to capture my thoughts and memorialize them not only for me but one day for my great kid to read so he can know some of the stories that we all tend to not share with those we love because we don’t want to worry them or make them think that we haven’t got it all under control. (Although I don’t know anyone who has it under control these days. Do you?)
Normally, I’m not one to want attention drawn to myself; not comfortable with it and never have been. There are others around me who not only bask in being the sun around which the planets revolve but seek it out. Not me. And I realize that putting pen to paper – or in this case – fingers to keyboard – and talking about both the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the great joy coupled with the overwhelming sadness is the antithesis of not seeking attention.
But try I will to see if anything I’ve done or thought or questioned or missed or tried or failed at while time not only marches on but seems to be racing away from me these days might resonate with you. Because I always think that – no matter our background – our similarities in how we think and reason, feel and doubt, try to move forward and sometimes have to step back, and hope against hope make us more alike than our differences will ever separate us.
So even if I’m the only who reads this (although I can always count my on Mom and my great kid to partake in my musings, no matter whether it’s done because they’re legitimately interested or have embraced their guilt-induced obligation), I already feel that my long-neglected writing set of tools are at least headed back to being used. And as my birthday approaches, that’s a great gift to give myself. Stay tuned because – no matter what – I always believe that the best is yet to be.